One Month

People ask me all the time how it is having two kids to take care of? The truth is that these last 4 weeks have been hard. Of course I expected it. I knew I would be up all hours and then have to spend the day splitting my attention between my two girls. I knew I would have to be sensitive to Marianna's tantrums and have to find creative ways to deal with them. I knew that I would have to make a big adjustment to our daily routine to include breast-feeding, diaper changing etc. All this is definitely starting to fall into place. What I didn't expect and plan for was how guilty and sad I would feel - ALL THE TIME.

William and Dianna have been a huge help. When they are around they shower Marianna with the attention she is use to but I can't help but feel sad and often jealous that they get to do the things I use to love to do with her. I miss our afternoon tea parties and our nature walks. I miss sharing an ice cream at our local pinkberry or just snuggling in bed after naptime. Now with the new baby around most of my energy is spent caring for her and any free time I do have I feel like I should be resting or having 'me' time. This has manifested into guilt. I know that soon I will be able to plan mommy time for Marianna and I hope to schedule a music class for us to go to together. It will just take some time to learn to juggle my attention between the two of them.

Enough about me let me tell you about our sweet Nyla.

She is growing so quickly. At her one week check up she gained back her delivery weight and then some. At 8 pounds she never got to wear the cute premie outfits I saved from when Marianna was born. Now at one month she is already growing out of her newborn clothing. She has the perfect baby rolls that I admired in other children. Marianna was always very lean and muscular. Despite Nyla's plumpness she is very strong. Holding her head up and standing supported.

She loves tummy time and even prefers to sleep on her belly. She is a very restless sleeper and for this reason she spends very little time with us in our bed at night. A friend gave us a co-sleeper and after her night feedings I just place her in it. I was looking forward to a baby I could snuggle with and made it a priority to teach her to nurse while I was laying down. Unfortunately she grunts and snorts all night so that I could never fall asleep comfortably with her next to me.

She is a little colicky too which has led to a few sleepless nights but it seems to be clearing up. I also introduced the bottle early and she is learning to take it but is still fussy about it. I plan on being persistent about it because it will really allow me to plan more alone time with Marianna, and William too.

My favorite thing about my little girl is that she sneezes all the time. It is so cute because after the third or fourth sneeze in a row she ends with a huge sigh.

All in all it has been a good first month. It will take some more time to figure out how to live my new life but with the holidays quickly approaching and with my mom on her way I'm sure next month will be even better.